A New discovery about a close Relative. (No, not that aunt with the gross mole... But good guess!)

Kronos contemplating his next move!

The animal kingdom is a large mysterious world that we as humans are still learning from on a day to day basis. We're constantly making shocking new discoveries and revelations about animals that shock and awe us. Primates and Great Apes are certainly no exception!


"Recent observations have shown that the scientific community has misjudged certain actions and gestures of many species of Hominidae." Says Professor Charles Stonchu, a Professor at Cornhoal University, as well as a leading expert in the field of Hominidae (Also known as Great Apes.). He continued by saying; "What we once saw as signs of aggression and violence now has a new light shed upon it. And we could take a lesson from out 'less evolved' counterparts in this discovery. After all, we are supposed to be the higher species right? So why couldn't we settle our difference this way?".

Ready to fight, or ready to Krump?

And what discovery is that? Recent studies of the behavior have the great ape have revealed that they may be contemplating a lot more than just their next meal, in fact they may be thinking about their next Stomp! " While observing the behavior of beringei beringei (Eastern Mountain Gorilla.). I noted that they repeated many variations of their known "aggressive" stances towards one another, often without any physical contact or fighting of any kind.". He continued,"This began to make me question what it is they're really doing?" This began a long and ridiculing study for the Professor. For sixteen long years he followed Gorillas, both in captivity and wild to study their habits, all while being ridiculed by his peers.

"He's a nut job! Ever since he started watching dance movies that's been his solution for everything! Walruses sing to one another as communication, Flamingos choose their mate by samba, and now this?!?" Says Professor Eric Tyun, a respected colleague of Professor Stonchu.
However regardless of the flack the young professor was getting he ventured on, continuing to study their habits, and his results were shocking!

"Here we see a Eastern Mountain Gorilla practicing her 80's style expressive moods. This is just before mating season which is when they appear to settle their differences with dance offs the most." 

"After many years of observations, I can only draw to one conclusion. That Great Apes have a deep routed instinct to settle their differences through expressive dance competitions, or 'Stomping and Krumping' if you will. It is so deeply embedded in their nature, that it's embedded in their entire social structure. Breaking down into several factions in each pride that are formed by their dance style and technique." Explained Stonchu, while showing me photographic evidence of his theory in motion. We spent hours going through his photographic evidence, as well as his dream journal. And I have to admit, he does have solid ground to stand on, as clearly seen in the photographic evidence above? But what does this all mean exactly? Do we have to worry about an invasion of Primates with aggressive dance tactics? Or can we rest easy knowing that they wish to keep to themselves and the rhythm in their hearts?

The need to dance clearly starts at a young age!

"That question is completely irrelevant to the discussion on hand!" Replied Stonchu when I asked him such a question."However for the sake of seeming like I really take this all seriously, I'll answer. I don't feel
Hominidae want anything to do with us. We're an aggressive culture that tries to mask it with expression. Where they're simply an expressive culture who discovered a positive way to settle their differences, and display their deepest emotions to one another. I feel if they were to do anything towards the human race. It would probably simply be to dance, and show us the path to peace within ourselves. We as humans could learn a thing or two from primates. They live a very peaceful and conservative lifestyle that could benefit us as a whole."


This has been a great learning experience that has given me a new outlook on our actions in this world. Why not follow the path of our more civilized relative. I think next time in the face of confrontation, I am going to respond with the Dougie.